


Sweet Words

by HyperKid



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, M/M, Multi, Snuggle the wizard, Triggered Caleb, Whump, cuddle puddle, mentions of blowjobs, nonspecific reference to trauma, there is a reason we only praise kink, tw: dissociation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-26
Updated: 2019-11-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:33:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21568447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HyperKid/pseuds/HyperKid
Summary: One of the pitfalls of early relationships; you don’t know what exactly will set each other off. Fjord finds out rather abruptly that Caleb has some very specific triggers.
Relationships: Beau/Yasha/Jester/Caleb/Fjord/Mollymauk, Polynein
Comments: 14
Kudos: 251





	Sweet Words

**Author's Note:**

> HK: Hey I think literally all of this was written after 11pm on various nights!  
> Mollymauk: That’s weird, you usually neglect work to write.  
> HK: Shhhhh I do not! Much. This little piece came around literally because as I was cuddling up to my Caleb for bed, I made a throwaway remark about why we must always praise kink Caleb.  
> Mollymauk: You cannot offer that boi whump, you know he loves it.  
> HK: Yeeeeeeah had to sit up for a couple minutes to get the first sentences down. I’d probably actually get to sleep on time if I didn’t write?  
> Mollymauk: You’d stay up late on twitter instead.  
> HK: .... Harsh but true. 
> 
> WARNINGS!! Ooooh boy. Caleb Widogast, so: mentions of child abuse, trauma, dissociation, self loathing, and sexual circumstances 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Caleb, or anyone else, I just have a lot of hidden darkness that comes out in winter?

> The first time it happens is almost the last time. Almost. 
> 
> They’re all still getting to know each other, fresh on the streets of Zadash. Working out how this group dynamic works, where each piece fits. Working out who likes what in bed. 
> 
> Fjord’s the one who says the words, but it was probably only a matter of time. It could have been any of them. 
> 
> But Caleb knows Fjord’s been spending a lot of time with the tieflings, because his dirty talking has been showing distinct improvement. And Caleb is 110% in favour of that, right up until The Incident. 
> 
> He’s sucking the half-orc’s cock, taking him deep and hollowing his cheeks to really go. Both Fjord’s hands are tangled in his hair, his breathing ragged, so close just from Caleb’s mouth. It’s delicious. Intoxicating. And the string of filth from Fjord’s lips is only making it better. 
> 
> “Fuck... you’re so damn good at that, Caleb. So fucking pretty on your knees. Such a filthy little whore for my cock.” 
> 
> And just like that, Caleb’s gone. 
> 
> There’s no one there but Bren, young, scared, but fourteen and so, so desperate to please. It’s not the dirt of an alley beneath his knees, it’s cold stone and he can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t scream. 
> 
> Fjord notices almost immediately as Caleb’s whole body stiffens. Suction drops like he’s died and the half orc takes just a moment to catch his breath before pulling away. 
> 
> “Caleb?” 
> 
> The wizard doesn’t move. Doesn’t blink. Stares forward like he’s just seen someone burn to ash. 
> 
> Fjord panics. 
> 
> “JESTER!” 
> 
> ** 
> 
> He finds Molly first, before he even makes it back to the Leaky Tap. The tiefling’s wander the market almost aimlessly, perusing the stalls. He barely blinks when Fjord comes barrelling through, an unmoving, hunched Caleb in his arms. Molly just catches up, brows furrowing in confusion. 
> 
> “What happened?” 
> 
> There’s no real point asking if Caleb’s alright, though he doesn’t know that until they have to pause at the corner and Caleb’s still got that blank, thousand yard stare. Fjord’s barely got the breath to talk as he runs, but he does his best. 
> 
> “No idea. Just... shut off. Could be a curse.” 
> 
> And Molly doesn’t need to know more. He opens doors, shouts people out of the way. Jester’s in the bar, which helps because they don’t have to look further. 
> 
> Fjord almost falls at the switch in momentum as he skids to a stop before her to lay Caleb on the table as gently as possible. Jester’s alarmed, and who wouldn’t be, but gets to work quickly. 
> 
> There’s not a physical mark on Caleb. But Molly has his suspicions, and when Lesser Restoration fails he shakes his head and moves to lift the wizard. 
> 
> “He’s gonna have to come out of this on his own. I’ll get him upstairs to bed for now.” But before he can lift him, Jester’s made a dismissive noise and scooped Caleb from the table. 
> 
> “You open the doors for me. Fjord, maybe you should find Nott and ask if this kind of thing has happened before? Not in a battle, I mean,” she adds to clarify when he looks confused. 
> 
> Fjord’s cheeks flush a deep russet brown under green skin. 
> 
> “I... uh... I don’t think she’d know much about the circumstances around... um...” 
> 
> Rolling his eyes, Molly pats the stuttering warlock on the shoulder as he passes. 
> 
> “We can guess. You should retie your trousers, by the way.” 
> 
> Startled, Fjord makes a grab for himself, then follows both tieflings up towards their own rooms. 
> 
> “That’s not something that’s happened with either of you two, is it?” 
> 
> Just in front, Jester shrugs, turning Caleb carefully so as not to knock him off the wall of the stairs. 
> 
> “I don’t really have the same bits, so it might just have never come up.” 
> 
> Up ahead, Molly already has the door to his and Fjord’s room open for them to enter. 
> 
> “It’s not happened with me,” he volunteers, worried eyes on their wizard as he passes, “were you doing anything new?” 
> 
> Fjord shakes his head immediately, a slight frown rising as he thinks back. There’s no discomfort here, nothing is as important as what happened. 
> 
> “No... we were outside, but...” 
> 
> “But given you didn’t bother tucking your dick in and he’s fully clothed you didn’t get past the oral?” Jester asks in a tone just shy of teasing, most of her attention on Caleb. She’s laid him on one of the beds, but doesn’t seem to know what to do next: he’s still not responding, and she can’t stop fussing. 
> 
> She straightens the blankets under him, pulls them all out and puts them over him, tucks him in, rethinks it and drapes, rethinks again and tries to to swaddle him. It takes Molly catching both her hands to lure her away, and he knows she only goes because she doesn’t know what to do. 
> 
> Molly gives Fjord a raised eyebrow and nod to Caleb, currently half under blanket, and guides Jester to sit on the other bed with him. Fjord’s a little more sure. He settles Caleb into the recovery position on his side, knees curled up towards his chest but not too tight. 
> 
> The wizard doesn’t fight it. 
> 
> He doesn’t do anything. 
> 
> There’s no resistance in his limbs as he’s moved, which is probably a good sign. There’s also no movement of his own, no trying to help or make himself comfortable. He’s just... not there. 
> 
> Fjord does his best to wrap the blanket around him anyway. He doesn’t know if Jester thinks it’s for warmth, comfort, or just something to do, but it seems like a good idea. Then he stands. Hesitates. 
> 
> “Should we leave him alone?” Caleb’s not reacting to anything at the moment, so there’s not exactly a proper reason to whisper. But it doesn’t feel right to fill the silence. 
> 
> Jester visibly squirms at the very idea, her wide, lilac eyes beseeching as she turns them on Molly. The other tiefling doesn’t even look at her, his own gaze focused on the human. 
> 
> “I don’t think that’d be a good idea. Just in case he needs something.” 
> 
> *** 
> 
> From Caleb’s perspective, no time has passed at all when he snaps back. He knows he’s not in the same place, but why, where, and how are all a mystery to him. 
> 
> All he knows is that he feels like he’s been sanded. Raw nerves exposed, memories dragged across shredded skin to pull him apart. 
> 
> He stares blankly ahead at the wall for a moment while his eyes focus. 
> 
> Jester, Molly, and Fjord are sat on the opposite bed, the latter two engaging in quiet conversation and doing their very best to pretend there was nothing in the room holding their attention. 
> 
> Jester is fucking dreadful at it. Her gaze glances towards him every few moments, worry in every line of her face. 
> 
> It hurts. Cuts at his chest. He’s fucked up again, he’s hurting her and he doesn’t know how. 
> 
> But the way her face lights up when she meets his eye, soft and warm and hopeful is a balm. A comfort he hasn’t earned and doesn’t deserve. One he’s too selfish to give up. 
> 
> It takes an effort to force himself into a sitting position, and that’s enough to get the attention of the other two. Their conversation pauses, all attention swinging to the wizard as Caleb tries to clear his throat. 
> 
> “What... happened?” 
> 
> “We were kind of hoping you’d know,” Molly says softly, an ironic little smile curling his lips. Jester’s on the edge of the bed, practically vibrating, and it’s a mild surprise that neither of the others are actually holding her there by the tail. 
> 
> She’s trying her very best, though. Visibly fighting the urge to rush over and pet at him and comfort him. Smother him. Not unless he tells her he wants her to. 
> 
> There’s a sinking feeling in Caleb’s gut, but he can ignore it as long as he’s focusing on what she’s doing. So he raises a hand in her general direction and a moment later it’s clasped in hers, lilac eyes so very gentle as they track across his face. 
> 
> “I tried a Lesser Restoration on you,” she tells him quietly, all naked concern and far too much affection. 
> 
> It makes him feel dirty to touch her, to contaminate her, any of them, but he can’t stop. Can’t force himself to give up this one last comfort. Not when the gaps are showing. 
> 
> The thought of her using her god’s magic on him, to try and fix him, brings a dry smile to his own lips. 
> 
> “I don’t suppose it was that kind of problem, then,” he manages, and is surprised by her worried wobble. A plump, blue lower lip juts out in a pout and she raises his hand to her face, pressing into it. 
> 
> “It should be. I don’t like that I can’t help.” 
> 
> And there it is. Why Jester’s never the one to guide him off, to ease him back from wherever it is he goes. She’s too... young. Too raw. Too inexperienced. She doesn’t know what words will make it better or worse. 
> 
> The bed dips as Molly comes to sit beside him, close enough to touch if Caleb reaches for him but not making contact first. Fjord stays on the opposite side of the room, and for a moment Caleb has the funny thought that he’s scared of him. 
> 
> Before he can dwell on it, Molly’s talking, his voice soft and gentle as he catches up Jester’s thoughts and winds them in. 
> 
> “We do need to know one thing, though. Just so we can make sure it won’t happen again. We don’t need to know why,” he adds quickly, obviously spotting rising panic, “but if we know what... well. I doubt you want a repeat performance either?” 
> 
> Just the thought makes Caleb flinch, grip tightening on Jester’s hands. 
> 
> What did set him off? 
> 
> It’s so hard to think, to remember what happened before he fell down that rabbit hole of darkness and pain. The last thing he remembers is having a wonderful time going down on Fjord. 
> 
> The corners of his mouth tick up just a little. 
> 
> If sucking cock were a serious trigger he would have a lot more episodes. 
> 
> Fjord speaks up then, his voice laboured like he’s been thinking about this for hours. Playing things over and over in his head. For all Caleb knows, he has been. 
> 
> “Is it somethin’ I said?” All heads turn to the half orc, but he only has eyes for Caleb. “I just... I can’t think of anythin’ else. I wasn’t rough with you, I don’t think, and it’s not like we haven’t done the rest before.” 
> 
> Caleb’s brow furrows and he tries again to think back. Yeah, Fjord had been talking. It had been good. Until... 
> 
> “I don’t even know what I was saying,” the half orc mumbles, still pinned by a pair of tiefling gazes. 
> 
> Caleb’s barely paying attention, thinking back, thinking back... oh. 
> 
> For a moment his whole body stiffens. On either side, both tieflings turn, worried something will have set him off again. 
> 
> But it’s just a memory. Just a memory of a memory. And Caleb can’t let his memories control him for another fifteen years. With an incredible effort he forces his thoughts away, pinning himself to the present with Fjord’s shy, earnest eyes. 
> 
> No, he’s not going to let Trent take this away too. 
> 
> Clearing his throat feels like gargling gravel, but he manages. Manages a tiny dip of a nod. His voice is hoarse when he finds it, but they’re all so silent he could whisper and be heard. 
> 
> “It was... what you called me. I have had some-“ he’s cut off by Molly’s raised hand and the blood hunter shakes his head. 
> 
> “We don’t need to know,” he reminds Caleb softly, crimson eyes like iron in fire. Warm, gentle, unstoppable. “Not if you don’t want to talk about it.” 
> 
> Caleb’s drowning in Molly’s eyes. Letting himself fall ever deeper. Just the words feel like a weight falling from his shoulders. 
> 
> They’re not going to ask. 
> 
> They’re not going to press. 
> 
> On his other side, Jester huffs and drapes herself across his shoulders, snuggling her cheek against his coat. She’s the one who always complains how it smells, but it doesn’t seem to matter when she wants to cuddle up. 
> 
> “Do you want me to beat up Fjord?” She asks plainly, and the others both jump. Caleb turns just enough to meet her gaze and there’s not an ounce of hesitation there. 
> 
> She’s just. Watching him. Only the faintest flicker of a smile in her eyes to show she maaaay not be 100% serious. Though honestly, with the condition she saw him in, there was a chance she’d still do it. 
> 
> Fjord looks fucking terrified by the idea, both hands raising to defend himself. 
> 
> “Wait, no, Jester...” and then he stops, and that’s the very worst part of all. Caleb can See the words floating above his head. 
> 
> ‘I deserve this.’ 
> 
> And Fjord is so gentle, so kind, so attentive to others. It hurts to see so much of Caleb’s own self loathing on his face. So the wizard manages a tiny smile and reaches out a hand towards him, too. 
> 
> “No, Jester. He did not do anything wrong.” 
> 
> There’s blatant disbelief on every face, but this feels right to Caleb. No, of course Fjord did nothing wrong. He couldn’t have known how Caleb would react. 
> 
> Couldn’t know how fucked up, filthy, wrong, bad, disgusting- he forces the thought to cut off there, shrinking back just a little into Jester. 
> 
> He knows how worried she is when the immediate answering squeeze nearly cracks a rib. 
> 
> On the plus side, all the fuss and the panic and the healing spell she insists on giving him combine to wipe away the monologue. He’s pretty sure she’ll cry if he thanks her, though. 
> 
> At some point Fjord has given in and come to join them, and they’re all pressed together to fit onto Molly’s tiny bed. It’s a lot of touching, skin to skin, and Caleb’s right in the middle of it. Nearly completely surrounded by warm bodies. 
> 
> It’s soothing, in its own way. The press on every side says “not alone” with every beat of his heart. 
> 
> Part of him still wants to push them away. To deny himself this comfort, to remember he’s a monster and all he can do is hurt them. 
> 
> In a way, though, it’s almost hard to imagine how. Jester, if pressed, could potentially physically juggle the three of them. And they’re so good at watching out for each other. 
> 
> Just look how well they’re trying to look after him. 
> 
> It’s almost funny how much part of him resents the feeling of safety that gives him. 
> 
> Craning his neck, he manages to get his head back far enough to see Fjord’s face. 
> 
> “You know I’m not mad at you, ja?” He’s shooting for reassuring, and isn’t exactly pleased with how much uncertainty he can hear. Apparently Fjord’s missed that though as he looks down, giving Caleb a smile that’s far too self blaming. 
> 
> “Yeah, I know. I’m still sorry it happened.” 
> 
> And there’s really nothing he can say to that. He’s sorry it happened too. And he has no idea how to get back to a place where it hadn’t happened. 
> 
> Jester, as usual, gets to the bottom of things. 
> 
> “So do you still wanna do sex things or give it a break for a while?” 
> 
> There’s a faint thwack as Molly’s tail hits her butt and she squeaks and pouts at him. Before they can start arguing, though, Caleb cuts in. He’s not really up to conflict. 
> 
> “Yes, Jester, I am still very happy to do sex things with all of you. Maybe not now,” he adds a little more sternly when two tails promptly coil around his ankles. 
> 
> Both tieflings giggle and he can’t help it; his face breaks into a smile. Which is, of course, exactly what they asked for. Beaming to see it, Jester plants a kiss on his cheek. 
> 
> “We just gotta tell you you’re super precious and we love you lots, right?” She asks brightly, snuggling to his chest. 
> 
> It adds just a hint of irony to Caleb’s smile. 
> 
> He knows he’s not precious. Not something good, or sweet, or worthwhile. But... he wants so badly to hear that he’s at least doing something right. 
> 
> And apparently he can’t stand to hear the truth. 
> 
> So he nods instead and wraps himself around her. 
> 
> “Ja. Good things only, please.” 
> 
> “Just like Jester,” Molly agrees with a chuckle, knocking her horn with one of his. For a brief moment, they’re all afraid chains will tangle. 
> 
> Afraid again when Jester nods enthusiastically, almost catching him as he pulls away. 
> 
> “Just like! It’s so much nicer than nasty names, I don’t know why you two like it so much.” She gives Caleb a conspiratorial wink. “They’re weird, right?” 
> 
> And it breaks his heart all over again. The immediate olive branch, the way she works so hard to make him comfortable. To pretend he’s the normal one. That he could be anything like her. 
> 
> It catches in his throat, but he doesn’t want to go back. Doesn’t want to dwell again. So he nods quickly, just once, and Molly’s overdramatic protestations make the blood hunter fall off the bed and then they’re all distracted. 
> 
> It’s an effort to pull Molly back up without disentangling, but Caleb’s just not ready to let any of them go yet. To go back into the world where he is filthy, is a terrible little slut and not worth a second glance. 
> 
> With his lovers around him, he can pretend he’s safe. So he lets their bodies shield him from the world. Their warmth a balm on his skin. A bulwark against reality, for as long as they’ll let him. 
> 
> With a temporary, thirty second break for Jester to yank the other bed over, that turns out to be all night. 

**Author's Note:**

> HK: At least I’m ringing out the month with some enthusiasm, right? Finally getting a finish on the many many many things I’ve been writing all month :P I’ve written almost every day!


End file.
